If you’re the kind of person who dreams of doing all the work while someone else gets the praise, and you thrive under the heavy-handed management of people whose leadership skills peaked in a middle school group project—have I got the place for you! At ETS, I had the unique opportunity to work alongside Phil Vogel, a man who saw my professional skillset and thought, “How can I weaponize this against him?” After asking for my help automating tasks in his area, he skillfully pulled off a corporate magic trick: claiming the success as his own while tossing any issues squarely at my feet. It was a masterclass in self-promotion—if you enjoy watching someone climb the ladder you built for them. His manager could have stepped in and admitted his inadequacy and dysfunction, but instead chose the more hands-on approach of character assassination via backroom meetings and thinly veiled intimidation. She was fully aware of the contributions I made and still opted to bolster Phil’s career by dragging mine through the mud. If there’s a manual somewhere called “How to Be an Enabler: Middle Management Edition,” I assume she wrote it. The culture here rewards the loudest voice in the room, not the most competent one. If you’re into optics over substance, blame over accountability, and a hostile work environment disguised as “collaboration,” then ETS will feel like home. Personally, I prefer my workplaces to have a bit less psychological warfare and a bit more integrity.